3 Strategies For Keeping Your Cool At Work

You get a rude email from a co-worker.
You read it once and start to feel annoyed, then you read it again, just to make sure. Yes: It’s obnoxious. So, you hit “reply” and start dashing out a response to set the record straight, feeling your blood rise with every keyboard stroke.
Sound familiar? Whether it’s getting angry with an annoying colleague, getting frazzled by a problem in a project, or just getting frustrated by little speed bumps in the day, there will be times when something minor grates on you in the office. And, like me, your first instinct may be to get angry, to snap, or to react.
But there’s a better way to handle these moments. First—of course—don’t send emails when you’re upset. But more importantly, you have to relentlessly remind yourself to keep a level-headed perspective on the job.
I know—easier said than done. But next time something gets to you, try one of these three simple techniques for staying cool, calm, and collected.

1. Ask Yourself How Important it Is

When I find my blood pressure rising and I start to lose my perspective, I ask myself this simple question: Will I care about this in five years? As I stare at whatever email I’ve just received or whatever presentation I’m working on, the answer is almost always a definitive no. Usually, I will have moved on from it in a month.
This rhetorical question is not an excuse to become complacent on the job, but it provides me with the outlook I need to step away from my desk when I’m feeling agitated, get some fresh air, or boost my blood sugar with a snack. Then, I can return to what I’m doing and—with the keen awareness that I’m not facing wartime disaster—do my best to keep calm and carry on.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally

I know what you’re thinking: everything is personal. And it’s always the sleaziest business executives—at least in the movies—who say things like: “It’s just business; don’t take it personally.”
But there is something you can learn from trying to gain this perspective when you’re feeling overwhelmed, attacked, or frustrated. The case for this mentality is made best in The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz, who explains how he implements this way of thinking:

Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally. Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.
Even when a situation seems so personal, even if others insult you directly, it has nothing to do with you. What they say, what they do, and the opinions they give are according to the agreements they have in their own minds.”

There are times when you may feel like a less-than-friendly email or snappy comment from your boss has something to do with your performance. And there are certainly times when this may be the case. But more often than not, the people you work with have their own daily stressors that influence how they’re interacting with the world—things that, as Ruiz points out, have nothing to do with you.

3. Feed the Right Wolf

We are all vulnerable to something called negativity bias, which means that the bad events of the day are more memorable than the good ones. But just because it’s our natural tendency to dwell on the negative doesn’t mean we can’t push back against it.
In her book Taking the Leap, Pema Chödrön illustrates the negative and positives sides of ourselves as two hungry wolves fighting in our hearts. She asks readers to think of the wolf who wins the fight as the wolf who we choose to feed.

Most of us have gotten so good at empowering our negativity and insisting on our rightness that the angry wolf gets shinier and shinier, and the other wolf is just there with its pleading eyes. But we’re not stuck with this way of being. When we’re feeling resentment or any strong emotion, we can recognize that we are getting worked up, and realize that right now we can consciously make the choice to be aggressive or to cool off. It comes down to choosing which wolf we want to feed.”

You can choose to focus on the minor frustrations of your day—or, you can choose to focus on finding meaning in your work. This can feel impossible when you’re consumed by something on the job, but try to pause and reflect on what’s really important to you. In that moment, you may be able to channel your energy in another direction—to switch gears and work on a project you really care about or to simply take a moment to remind yourself what you appreciate about your job.

Work will never be free from stressors or annoyances, but you’re always in a position to manage how well you handle them. If do your best to maintain perspective when things get heightened, you’ll find yourself not getting bogged down by the details of the day, and instead, rising above them.

The Top 7 Communications Trends for 2014

Each year brings breakthroughs, evolutions and benchmarks in equipping organizations and individuals through technology.
These new developments have implications for IT departments and the broader enterprise, in terms of services the IT department provides, and how those services are acquired and deployed.
Heading into 2014, Avaya has for the fifth time turned to its cadre of leading thinkers for observations on the year ahead in information and communications technology. It has led to these Seven Communications Trends for 2014:


#1: Businesses extend deeper into the cloud
Most early cloud initiatives were tactical, focused on vetting vendor capabilities and testing discrete, non-core processes in the cloud. Now, as more businesses make capital expense (capex) vs. operating expense (opex) spending decisions, organizations that choose the cloud option–whether through a private, public, or hybrid model–will see a shift in how their IT organizations operate. IT functions will focus less on delivery and support of technology and instead spend more time as technology advisers and enablers.


#2: Purse strings could be loosening
Signs of invigorated business spending in 2014 are evident in double-digit capex growth predictions by leading global asset managers. However, many organizations face tough rent vs. own decisions when it comes to IT–especially at companies that have underspent on technology and communications since the recession and desperately need to catch up. Deciding whether to build and own IT solutions themselves or migrate to opex solutions from service providers, often involving cloud options, could prove perplexing.


#3: Another major shift in IT focus – from products and services to outcomes
The expectation among internal customers is for IT to deliver outcomes rather than products and services. For example, instead of being asked to deploy an interactive voice response system, IT’s charge might be to help increase call containment rates or reduce agent expense across call centers. This shift in emphasis will create new demands on both IT organizations in terms of business knowledge and consulting skills, as well as the service providers they rely on.


#4: Crowdsourcing emerges in the support services setting
Businesses are discovering that customers are demanding a more robust support experience in general, and not just function- or product-specific support – all support. Going forward, companies that provide a community structure in which customers and company employees, especially subject matter experts, can more easily comingle will have a unique opportunity to create a more fulfilling support experience. Using group problem-solving and reward tools like gamification, as well as sophisticated performance tracking and analytics tools, forward-looking companies will supercharge these highly interactive support environments.


#5: The midmarket will expect different treatment
New technologies are powerful drivers of middle market empowerment. Midmarket leaders are no longer satisfied with solutions that are scaled down versions of larger systems. Instead, they want solutions designed to meet their specific business needs, as well as the ability of their IT people to manage them. Support excellence will increasingly mean providing the right information in a tempo and volume that a smaller operation can handle, along with the tools needed to put that information to use.


#6: Multimodal communications support reaches a tipping point
Businesses everywhere are experimenting with different communication modes for customer support. For example, Avaya Global Support Services has significantly shortened issue resolution times by escalating up and down in various modes – voice alone is often inadequate; voice-plus-web is only marginally better; so voice-plus-web-plus-chat-plus-video can put customers and support resources on the same page.
However, businesses deploying multiple modes will need to monitor and measure customer experience to determine when switching across modes becomes frustrating for customers – recent research indicates customer effort is becoming as important as customer satisfaction. With this realization, companies will seek help to orchestrate their different modes and to coordinate contextual information and analytics capabilities so they can monitor and measure customer effort.


#7: The people you need when you need them
Vendors are continuously creating new applications, some of which are transforming how organizations deploy and capitalize on technology. While this innovation can help boost business growth and improve efficiency, new solutions can further burden IT organizations that are already being compelled to handle growing service demand with shrinking staff resources.
New applications and business-consulting demands may also require skill sets beyond those of existing staff. This imbalance between requirements and resources could prompt organizations to explore staff augmentation options beyond the typical “manage my switch” arrangements. They will also seek help from technology management tools that smoothly integrate into their existing operations.

Five Great Interpersonal Skills to Have at Work

Interpersonal skills are an important thing to have and can be valuable in almost any situation. Basically interpersonal skills are skills we have that allow us to effectively communicate with each other. When you have good interpersonal skills you are able to develop social skills and can effectively communicate with someone using various techniques. Interpersonal skills are almost invaluable especially if you want a good job and you want a good relationship with your manager and other coworkers. If you are not sure what types of interpersonal skills are great to have for the workplace, here are some great suggestions.

 One great interpersonal skill to have is the ability to have effective communication with your boss and other coworkers. Effective communication is fairly easy to accomplish since the main goals are to listen and comprehend what someone is saying to you. It is important to always recognize the person that is talking to you to let them know you are listening and sometimes nodding and agreeing are ways to show that you are listening. Once the person is done talking to you it is important to summarize in your own words what the conversation was about that way the person knows you understand the conversation and you were paying attention. If you have any questions about what was being said then this is the time where you ask for clarification on that issue and then repeat the conversation making sure you understand it. Effective communication is a very important skill to have in the workplace because it will make the relationship with your boss and coworkers easier and just all around better. Sometimes during our jobs we make mistakes that could have been avoided by effective communication. Making sure you understand the task at hand or problem is important to ensure you are doing your job correctly and to make sure that you understand what the other person wants from you. Effective communication skills are always important no matter what type of job you are in because making a mistake from bad communication skills can cost you your job or someone their life. This skill will help better the relationship with your workplace peers and you will be better respected because you take the time to make sure you understand what is being asked of you.


Assertive communication is also very important when talking about effective interpersonal skills at the workplace. Assertive communication skills are important due to the fact you want to be clear and to the point. Having assertive communication skills basically means you are able to deliver a message or issue to the person it needs to be delivered to and only that person while maintaining an effective manner of communication. You want to deliver that message to the person with the details and not just a general message. Be as concise and clear as you can about what it is you want or you need and do not be afraid to be blunt about it. Make sure that you tell your coworker to give you clear and honest feedback about the message that way it seems you are delivering your own opinions rather than being demanding. This is a great skill to have with your boss, manager and other peers in the workplace because you want to be able to express yourself in a clear manner and express your needs and wants in a clear and specific manner. If you are able to express yourself and what you need or what you are feeling specifically and effectively, then you will most likely do better at your job and get more things accomplished. Assertive communication is the other end of effective communication in the sense that this communication skill is showing how you communicate with your workplace peers rather than how you listen to them. Your workplace will feel you are valuable because you speak your mind in an effective manner and they will respect you more for sharing those feelings or needs with them.



Anger management is also a great and effective interpersonal skill that is invaluable at the workplace. Everyone becomes angry at something, whether it be a bad day in general or someone making you angry because they made a mistake at work. It is important to know that being angry at work can cause a lot of problems and can possibly make you lose your job if you can not properly control those emotions. It is important to know what types of situations or people anger you and have an effective way to deal with those feelings. You should not direct anger at anyone in your workplace because this could cause intimidation and lead to a lot of workplace hostility. One of the most important things to keep in mind when you are angry is to take deep breaths to calm down and if that does not work then just walk away. You need to learn what methods work for you as far as something that will calm you down before you take your anger out on the wrong person. Workplace anger management is often taught during classes or training but you need to know what works for you in angry situations and how you can better control your own emotions. Knowing how and when to deal with workplace anger will better enhance the relationship between you and those you work with and will help them also develop better anger management skills. Knowing how to control your anger will also help in the workplace because people will want to come to you with problems due to the fact they know you will control your emotions and find a proper way to deal with the situation at hand. This is also important because your boss might be looking at you as a team leader or someone who might end up in a higher-level position at your work if you can control your anger and you have effective anger management skills. All around anger management is a great interpersonal skill to have because it will help you communicate your thoughts and feelings with those around you at your workplace in a reasonable and approachable manner.


Conflict resolution is something that goes with anger management and is an effective interpersonal skill to have in the workplace. Conflict resolution consists of knowing what the conflict is and how it affects you as well as knowing the reasons why the conflict matters to you. If you are in a conflict with someone it is important to include them into your resolution while maintaining a positive attitude and acting civil toward them. Make sure they know what the conflict was and why it is important to you and also how you feel about the conflict. Make direct compromises with the person if possible and ask to hear their side of the story relating to the conflict at hand. You should always be respectful to the other person and ask their opinion on the conflict and a possible solution to the conflict. When you both can agree on a resolution you should make a plan to stick to that resolution and then follow through with talking to the other person afterward to make sure that the issue was resolved. Conflict resolution is an important interpersonal skill to have in the workplace because in every job there is always going to be conflicts and various opinions about a subject. Knowing how to approach the conflict and being respectful to the other person involved will help the people at your work get along and it will show them things they could do to improve their skills. Conflict resolution is also important because it tells the people you work with that you are open to negotiating a situation and that you do care about what they think and you are there to listen to them and how they feel. This is important because your boss will then know you are capable of handling situations on your own and that you have skills to solve problems peacefully with others.


Teamwork is also a very important interpersonal skill to have in your workplace. Teamwork means you can collaborate with other people and share ideas with them to come to a common goal. Teamwork means you are listening, cooperating with people in your workplace, communicating your thoughts and feelings and it also means you can come to resolutions on conflicts. Teamwork is basically knowing you are not the only one at your workplace and that other people have ideas and feelings to and you all are working toward the same common outcome. Teamwork uses skills of different interpersonal skills because they all come together to make teamwork possible and useful. Teamwork means knowing that even though some people might be different than you it is still possible to make a common goal happen by setting those differences aside. You should be able to express your own opinions in a thoughtful and specific manner and also be able to listen to others and share ideas to help one another. Teamwork is very important to any workplace because there would be no workplace if you did not have teamwork and everyone working together. Teamwork is the ability to solve problems and achieve goals with others that will directly affect your workplace. Your boss and others in your workplace will see this skill as a building block to success. You will become a better person, better coworker and also a leader in your workplace for knowing how to effectively use teamwork skills. Knowing teamwork skills might help you advance in your workplace and become a manager or it might just make you a very valuable member of the organization. Teamwork will help you get along with your boss and others because it will help you realize the common goal everyone has and it will help you better understand how to achieve those goals.

7 Essential Tips for Developing Skills

Everyone wants to have a fulfilling career. But what do you think you need to have it? While there are many possible answers, in my opinion there are at least two things you should have.
First, you should follow your heart. Following your heart means working on something that matters to you. It’s something that you do not because of money, but because of love and care. Second, you should live your fullest potential. It’s not enough just to do what matters to you. You should also grow your capacity to the fullest. I don’t know about you, but I feel deep satisfaction whenever I know that I’ve done my best.
The key to living your fullest potential is developing your skills. You can only live your fullest potential if you always develop your skills so that you can give better and better value over time.
Here are seven tips for developing your skills:

1. Be curious
Curiosity is essential because it makes the process of developing skills much more enjoyable. If you are curious, you will naturally want to know more simply because it’s fun. You will go further and deeper than those who develop their skills because they must.
Here are some things you can do to build curiosity:

• Don’t say that something is boring
  Saying that something is boring is killing curiosity since it closes door of possibilities.
• Make asking a habit
  Often we take things for granted and accept them as they are. Don’t. Build the habit of digging deeper below the surface. Your tool to do that is questions.
• Make things fun
  Don’t just look at the serious side of things. Look at their fun side too.

2. Develop your learning skill
Learning skill should be the first skill you develop because it greatly helps you develop other skills. An essential ingredient to have good learning skill is motivation. If you are motivated to learn about a subject, it will be much easier for you to learn it. Again, curiosity plays an important role here because a curious person is naturally motivated.
There are many books that can help you hone your learning skill but two that I recommend are Accelerated Learning for the 21st Century and Learn More Study Less.

3. Be a versatilist
A versatilist is someone who can easily adapt to new situations and quickly develop the skills necessary to excel. Being a versatilist essentially means being a smart learner who knows what to learn and how to quickly learn it.
To know what to learn, a versatilist should anticipate the future. That way he will get a sense of what new skills will be in demand and prepare himself before most people do.
Here are two posts that further discuss this topic:

• Be a Winner by Being a Versatilist: What, Why and How
• 6 Things You Should Do to Anticipate the Future

4. Find your role models
It will be easier for you to grow if you have concrete examples of what you want to be. That’s why it’s important to find your role models. Your role models give you a standard to achieve so that you know where and how far you should go in developing your skills. It will also motivate you since you know that someone has already achieved such high standard.

5. Find your mentors
While having role models is good, in many cases you can’t connect directly with them. But developing skills will be much easier if you work with those who have gone through it. That’s why you should find not just role models but also mentors. Ideally your mentors are also your role models but at least they are those who are more experienced than you. These people can teach you what to do and what not to do so that you don’t have to find them yourself the hard way. You can save a lot of time.
Finding mentors, of course, is not easy. Often you should give first before someone is willing to become your mentor. Try to be useful to them by helping them in whatever way you can. Give them a reason to invest their time in you.

6. Get feedback through real projects
The best way to develop your skills is through real projects. Why? Because real projects give you the much needed feedback to hone your skills. While many people prefer to wait until everything is well-prepared before working on real projects, you will learn faster by working on something real. You may face failures in the process but they are your stepping stones to success since they give you precious lessons.

7. Shorten your learning cycle
The speed of your skill development depends on the length of your learning cycle. The shorter your learning cycle, the faster you will develop your skills. Here are some ideas to shorten your learning cycle:

• Make quality effort
  I already mentioned that you should work on real projects since they give you important feedback. But having feedback alone won’t help you much. You must have quality feedback. To have it, ensure that your effort is quality effort. Prepare yourself as good as you can (without being over prepared) before launching an initiative. This way the feedback you get will be of higher quality.
• Measure comprehensively
  The feedback you get should also cover as many dimensions as possible. You can achieve it by measuring your performance comprehensively. The more metrics you measure, the better feedback you will get. Of course, the metrics should be chosen carefully so that you don’t waste your resources on measuring.
• Act upon the feedback
  After getting the feedback, you should act diligently upon it. Learn as much as possible from the feedback to get the most possible points for improvements. Then choose the most potential ones and do your best to improve them before launching your next initiative.

***
These tips will help you develop your skills and make your career more fulfilling. Not only will you do what matters to you, but also you will get the satisfaction of knowing that you’ve done your best.
This article is part of September 2008 theme: Fulfilling Career
Photo by scui3asteveo

Effective Communication At Work.

The title of Karen Friedman’s more recent book isn’t exactly subtle. Shut Up And Say Something: Business Communication Strategies to Overcome Challenges and Influence Listeners lays out her no-nonsense philosophy about how to best get your point across, drawn from her 38 years of experience as a professional communicator. As a TV news reporter, she worked at local stations in cities from Milwaukee to Huntsville, Ala. For the last 18 years, she’s headed up Karen Friedman Enterprises, a communication coaching firm in Philadelphia.

How does she apply her ideas in the workplace? Her No. 1 rule, gleaned from two decades in the TV news trenches: “It is absolutely critical to be as direct, to the point and concise as possible,” she says, in a lively, forceful voice with a Philadelphia tinge. Vagueness is all too common in the workplace, she observes. Friedman’s fix: follow the newscaster’s drill of spelling out who, what, where, when and why.

Managers can be as vague as their subordinates. “Bosses often say, ‘Can you have that report to me? It’s really important, and I’d really like to have it,’” Friedman says. A more effective way to deliver that message: “Can you please get that report to me? I’d like it on my desk by 5 p.m. Friday.”

Another strategy Friedman draws from news casting: Hit the headline first. Too many of us are just plain long-winded, she says. “People don’t need to know everything we know,” she explains. “Think about what the single most important point is that you need to make, the central idea. If your computer died or the fire alarm went off, what would be the one thing they needed to hear?”

Your attitude while talking is also important. “It’s not just your words that convey a message,” Friedman says. “It’s all of you.” If you slouch, jam your hands into your pockets, shuffle your feet and avoid eye contact, people will get the impression you don’t want to communicate with them. Pry your eyes and thumbs away from your electronic device, she admonishes. “Pretend that your colleague is your adorable five-year-old who you would drop everything for if she walked into the office,” she suggests.

Remember that the world doesn’t revolve around you. For Friedman, this was a tough lesson to learn, coming from the ego-driven world of television. If you open yourself to other opinions and perspectives, you’ll find it much easier to get your own message across. “Take a poll at your next meeting,” she suggests. “Draw the other people out.”

Do ask open-ended questions. They can buy time, clarify where another person is coming from and prevent misinterpretation. For instance: “I’m not sure I understand what you’re saying, so could you give me an example?”

Friedman is also fond of the bromide that if you can’t say something nice, you shouldn’t say anything at all. “Don’t say negative things about colleagues when they’re not around. That identifies you as a gossip and someone who can’t be trusted,” she advises. You may think you’re being entertaining or engendering closeness, but “you meet the same people on the way up as on the way down.”

Another Friedman rule: No bull. If you have bad news to deliver, lay it out plainly. It’s difficult to talk about layoffs and belt tightening, but if you’re in a situation where you have to convey that sort of information, your employees and colleagues likely already know something is up. It is far better to be straight with them than not to communicate at all, even if you can’t give them the answers they’d like.

Always deliver bad news in person. It may seem easier to convey negative information via e-mail, but imagine how you’d feel if you learned electronically that your best work friend had been sacked, vs. hearing it from another human being.

Finally, don’t be a naysayer. Even if you think your colleague or boss is completely wrong about something, you can counter with an open-ended question that shows respect and a can-do spirit. One possible response to a comment you think is misguided: “Have you had a situation where that strategy worked?” Says Friedman, “You can learn from the answer to that, and not be a negative Nellie.”

How To Help Kids Do Well In School

A best practices study shows that the best students do not have tutors or go to Kumon.
They are the products of good parenting.

Home and family are significant factors in student learning and achievement. Studies done all over the world attest to a variety of best practices, ranging from parental involvement in school to various enrichment activities. But how many of them really work? Which are applicable to the Philippine setting -and most importantly, which are already being practiced by the families of our best students? The only way to find out is to ask parents themselves.

As a psychologist-educator, I am often faced with the problem of student mediocrity and underachievement. I try my best to motivate them by using creative and innovative teaching styles, but learning is not the sole responsibility of the teacher. The family environment is even more crucial, especially in forming good habits early on.

Last year, I teamed up with a concerned Ateneo High School parent, Maribel Sison-Dionisio (herself a family counselor), to conduct an extensive study of the best practices in our school. A 100-item questionnaire was given to 823 parents of honor students excelling in extracurricular activities. (These students were selected by administration based on academic and extracurricular performance.) We received 533 responses (a whopping 65 percent rate of return), and conducted a focus-group-discussion with 27 parents. The first local study of its kind of this scope, this truly is a community effort - sponsored by the Parents Union for School and Home, and endorsed by President Fr. Ben Nebres, SJ; Basic Education director Fr. Bert Ampil, SJ; and principal Carmela Oracion. Following are the top 10 strategies to help our children do well in school:


1. Home learning environment
In our tutor-obsessed culture, the most surprising finding may be that the majority of honor students (more than 80 percent) have never had professional tutors after school. (Another 10 percent say they rarely have tutors.) But then again, this may not be so surprising, as internationally, many student achievers seldom rely on professional tutors.
How do these students achieve? Many parents tutor their children until Graces IV or V, by which time these students have already developed good study habits and can study well on their own. In the upper grades, parents act more as guides, and are consulted mainly on complicated topics. Interestingly, many parents in the survey say that at the very least, they still make sure their high school son completes his homework. Most parents also say they spend the most time with their child (not the yaya, house help or lola), which includes at least an hour a day.
What this means: The first 10 years of our child's life are essential not just for building relationships but for developing good study habits as well. Investing time and effort especially in the early years provide a steady foundation for lifelong learning and many prevent future problems.


2. Students have a quiet place and a set time to study everyday.

This may be plain to common sense, and it is. However, when the Third International Math and Science Study (TIMSS) compared the typical American and the typical Japanese eighth grade students, researchers found why a set time and place for daily study is important. The former studies wherever and whenever he feels like it, while the latter has his own space (tiny though it may often be) and time for learning. No wonder Japan ranked in the top five and the US barely made it to top 20 in the 1999 TIMSS ranking. (The Philippines was 36th out of 38 countries.)
As for the Philippines, not all teenagers have a set time to study - often, they study after dinner, sometimes in between TV shows or perhaps only hours before exams (when they pull in ineffective all-nighters). Some students swear they study better with stereo blaring, the TV on, the cellphone turned to maximum volume - all at the same time- but chances are these students are not doing the best they can in school. Abstract subjects such as math require reflection (and constant practice.) With the ear-splitting sounds of MTV, how can our children hear themselves think? Moreover, many parents in the survey also say that their child had a set time to go to bed and to wake up.
What this means: Make sure each child has a set time and his own private space to study. Ensure that each child has his own desk. Turn off all possible distractions, invest in good lighting and make sure that children develop a solid routine for daily study.

3. Parents frequently discuss with their children what happens in school.

These talks range from daily news to significant events (such as a particularly vexing teacher or an inspiring play). Third and fourth-year parents spearheaded discussions on possible career choices, while most parents provide counsel on balancing academics and activities, or dealing with teachers and lessons.
What this means: Ensure that communication lines are open and free. Our child has to be able to confide in us about mundane and important things. Inevitably, peer pressure becomes significant in teenager life (whether for good or ill), but one way to prevent negative influences is to be constantly present so that our child does not have to turn solely to peers for affirmation.

4. Aside from the Internet and textbooks, a variety of reference materials are available in the home.
These materials include encyclopedias, yearbooks, manuals, CD-ROMs. The school library may be well-equipped, but if possible, we must equip our home with educational materials - and make sure our children learn to consult them. Love of reading is extremely important - more than 80 percent of parents say they encourage their child to read for leisure. When their children were young, many parents also frequently read to them. (This also prevents feature problems in college - college English professors trace student's lack of language skills to avoidance of reading "big books.")
Interestingly, TV may not be as horrible an influence as is usually thought. Many achieving students still watch TV and surf the Net (but rarely for more than a couple of hours, and many limit TV watching to weekends). Shows such as those on Discovery Channel and National Geographic are popular.
What this means: Invest in educational references and resources. These may be pricey, so wait for book sales and book fairs, or patronize second-hand shops. Inculcate a love of reading in your children. For parents with pre-school kids, for those who haven't done so yet - start reading to (and with) them. Make reading a bedtime ritual.

5. Again, in our culture, after school enrichment activities such as Kumon and speed reading are very popular.
It may be a shock for parents to learn that most of the student achievers have never attended any of these sessions. Keep in mind that these are commercial ventures, often run not by educators but by ordinary franchisees. These sessions are not bad, of course. But consulting their own teachers, reflecting on homework and constantly doing all the exercises in their textbooks may be more effective ways of learning for kids.
In other countries, outside-school enrichment sessions may be more regulated (for instance, education units are required), and thus, they may prove more effective. But here in the Philippines their quality varies. With luck, we may be able to find a dedicated educator-franchisee who can personally oversee our children's learning, but from experience, I don't think there are many of these. (If these franchisees undergo training in academic content and student motivation, and perhaps go for a master's degree in education, then they may be more effective. But this is not yet the case today.) The bottomline is: educational fads come and go, but solid grounding in the basics (without fancy formulas or strategies) is still the main factor in academic achievement.
What this means: The good news is we don't have to spend money on outside-school sessions. But the challenging news is we have to invest time and effort in developing good study habits in our children. There are no quick fixes in education.
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6. Success is due to maximizing potential, rather than luck or fate.
Is student achievement a result of pure luck or good genes? Neither. No study has shown, for instance that the Chinese excel in math because of genetics (they may do so because of other factors such as language similarities, dual math studies, Confucian style of education, etc.). Some parents also say (with a sigh of relief) that thank goodness, their high-school children are doing well in school. (He took after his dad.") Heredity aside, what they do not realize is that their children will not have done well without good study habits or solid learning background - which can be attributed to parents' prioritizing of their children's learning. Moreover, when their children complain that a subject is too hard, parents do not say "that's really hard," or "That's okay. I'm also poor in Math." Instead they urge them to do their best.
What this means: Inculcate in your child the belief that he makes his own success (but be there to guide them necessary). Effort is more important than whatever innate ability he may possess. Encourage him to do his best. A mediocre performance is certainly not his best! Inspire him with real-life accounts of people who have done well because of perseverance and hard work.

7. Parents remain supportive of their child even when he gets low grades.
True, achievers seldom get very low marks, but when they do, families are still loving and supportive. No one is perfect, and a low grade or two is a fact of life. (Frequent low grades are another matter, of course.) Unconditional acceptance is the rule - however, acceptance is not enough. When their child gets low grades, parents do their best to help (by tutoring him themselves, researching reference materials, consulting the teacher or rethinking the balance of academics and extra-curricular activities.)
Parents also do not compare their child with others, and they do not put undue pressure on him. However, when their child does well, a majority of parents (more than 80 percent) say they frequently inform friends and family about their child's successes! When based on fact and done with love and joy, this measure of family pride also bolsters the child's and the family's self-esteem.
What this means: We support our child even when (and especially when) he gets low grades and help him do better next time. Do not compare children with other siblings or peers, but when they do well, it doesn't hurt to relay the news to friends and family!

8. Setting, negotiating and enforcing rules is an act of love and is the job of good parents.
Many parents confess that they had a "traditional" childhood, where their own parents were authoritarian, where spanking was the rule rather than the exception and where they were "seen not heard." In reaction to these, many parents have vowed to be "friends rather than parents" with their children, pals rather than authority figures. However, such practices have backfired, with children losing respect for their parents, breaking school and community rules, and in fact, often losing direction in life.
Parents are meant to be parents, not peers. Discipline (which is inevitable) is the job of good parents. But the method of discipline varies with age, and even with the personality of the child. Time-outs may work best for young children, while withdrawal of privileges may be effective for teenagers. In the survey, for a majority of parents and children cutting TV or computer time is a popular strategy. They do not give in to their teenagers when he complains or make a fuss. They demand accountability.
Most parents in the survey also say they have high expectations for their children in school and what's more - their children are aware of such expectations. Parents also impart the value of discipline and hard work through modeling it themselves, and through questioning and conversation. When children see parents living life in a "good" upright moral way, they have the best role model to follow. When our children are old enough, having a family discussion on what is right and wrong (even the gray areas) in politics, for instance, or in school (bullying, cheating) is essential. Parents also make their children face up to the consequences of their negative behavior (instead of making “salo” for them and interceding on their behalf all the time).
What this means: Children need discipline when they (inevitably) break non-negotiable rules agreed upon beforehand by the family. Ensure that the method of discipline is meted out with love and care and with the child's best interest in mind. Ensure that children learn responsibility for themselves, and remember that we are our children's best role models.

9. Together with their child, parents help him develop his personal goals.
Family discussions should not be just about the latest movies or fashion craze. When the child is old enough, discussion and guidance about personal goals (e.g. he wants to be on the basketball team but at the same time he also wants to do well academically) should be constantly done. If possible, career choices should also not be left at the last minute (but take heart: in college, when interests shifts, students can always switch career paths). In the survey, most parents also recognize and encourage their son's talents (e.g. playing the guitar, acting in plays). Music, art, and sports lessons are some activities wise parents invest in. Parents also support and attend their son's extracurricular activities in school.
What this means: Goal-setting is integral for growth and life path, and our children need our constant guidance. We also recognize and invest in our son's interests (outside of academics), since they are another source of self-worth.

10. Time, affection, and communication are essential to success and family well-being.
In today's harried world, with varied individual schedules, it is heartening to note that more than 85 percent of families in the study still have dinner together always or most of the time. Affection is openly demonstrated (and most parents say their teenagers do not mind giving them a hug or a peck on the cheek).
Parents encourage exchanging opinions with their children - even if they believe they are right and even if their children's ideas conflict with theirs. They involve their children in family discussions, but interestingly, in line with their roles as parents, they believe that more often than not, they know what is best for their children. Many parents have invested time and effort to raise their families right, and half of them say they make themselves available to their children even if it means forgetting their own needs. (However, neglecting personal needs is not recommended, since love and care for others starts with love and care for the self.)
What this means: Investing time, demonstrating affection and ensuring open and honest communication with our children are invaluable. Little things count. Have dinner together as a family. Hug one another. Encourage a free but respectful exchange of differing ideas. Above all, we should be there for our children.

Published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last March 14, 2004
Published with permission of the author.

PRODUCTIVITY.

9 Habits Of Productive People

It doesn’t matter what you do or where you work – everyone is looking for ways to be more productive on the job. But excessive amounts of caffeine and list-making won’t get you any closer to reaching peak productivity levels today.

So, why are we all so obsessed with productivity? It’s probably because in this digital age, staying on task and avoiding distraction is harder to accomplish than your actual work. Not to mention the feeling of a productive workday is somewhat euphoric.

This search for a more productive workday has led to a certain misconception about what productivity really is — and it’s a lot more than checking tasks off your to-do list. Truly productive people aren’t focused on doing more things; this is actually the opposite of productivity. If you really want to be productive, you’ve got to make a point to do fewer things.

To find out the secret to a more productive workday, we spoke with project management and productivity expert Tony Wong. He provided us with some excellent insight into what he and other like-minded individuals do during their work week.

Make room for increased productivity by putting these habits into play:

1. Cut your to-do list in half. Getting things done during your workday shouldn’t mean fitting in doing as much as possible in the sanctioned eight hours. Do you really need those 30 tasks on your to-do list? Take a less-is-more approach to your to-do list by only focusing on accomplishing things that matter.

2. Take more breaks. The ache in your brain after several long hours of work should be your signal to take a break. Since your brain has used up its glucose, give yourself a moment to refresh by going for a walk, grabbing lunch or a snack, or just meditating. You’ll come back recharged and ready to achieve greater efficiency.

3. Follow the 80/20 rule. Only 20 percent of what you do each day produces 80 percent of your results. Eliminate the things that don’t matter during your workday — they have a minimal effect on your overall productivity. For example, break your next project down into steps and systematically remove tasks until you end up with the 20 percent that gets the 80 percent of results.

4. Use your morning to focus on yourself. It’s a big productivity killer to start your mornings by checking your email and your calendar. This allows others to dictate what you accomplish. Start your day out right by ignoring your emails in the morning and getting in a good breakfast, reading the news, meditating, or working out. This will ensure you’ve got the necessary fuel for a productive day.

5. Tackle your challenging tasks before lunch. Knock out your most challenging work when your brain is fresh. If you have any busy work or meetings, save them for the afternoon. By scheduling your day this way, you’ll be able to create a new and more productive way to manage your time.

6. Improve your email etiquette. Email is a productivity killer and usually a distraction from tasks that actually matter–don’t fall into this productivity trap. For example, people often copy multiple people on emails to get it off their plate, but this is a sign of laziness and actually distracts everyone else by creating noise against the tasks they’re trying to accomplish.

As a rule, if you receive an email where many people are CC’d, do everyone a favor by BCC’ing them on your reply. If your email chain goes beyond two replies, it’s time to pick up the phone.

7. Create a system. You’ve probably developed a few productivity-ruining habits over the years. Manage your distracting ways by creating a system. For those of you who check your emails compulsively, plan a morning, afternoon, and evening time slot to manage your inbox. Otherwise, you’ll get distracted from accomplishing more important goals throughout the day.

8. Stop confusing productivity with laziness. While no one likes admitting it, sheer laziness is the No. 1 contributor to lost productivity. In fact, a number of so-called time-saving methods – take meetings and emails for example – are actually just ways to get out of doing real work. Place your focus on doing the things that matter most as efficiently and effectively as possible.

9. Stop multi-tasking. Stop trying to do 10 things at once! Changing tasks more than 10 times a day drops your IQ an average of 10 points. Get things done more effectively and efficiently by focusing on one task at a time.

Less is more when it comes to being productive during the workday. Stick to the basics for reaching productivity.

Welcome to the new week , do the best you can and stay tuned to gti....