A best practices study shows that the best students do not have tutors or go to Kumon.
They are the products of good parenting.
Home
and family are significant factors in student learning and achievement.
Studies done all over the world attest to a variety of best practices,
ranging from parental involvement in school to various enrichment
activities. But how many of them really work? Which are applicable to
the Philippine setting -and most importantly, which are already being
practiced by the families of our best students? The only way to find out
is to ask parents themselves.
As a psychologist-educator, I am
often faced with the problem of student mediocrity and underachievement.
I try my best to motivate them by using creative and innovative
teaching styles, but learning is not the sole responsibility of the
teacher. The family environment is even more crucial, especially in
forming good habits early on.
Last year, I teamed up with a concerned Ateneo High School parent,
Maribel Sison-Dionisio (herself a family counselor), to conduct an
extensive study of the best practices in our school. A 100-item
questionnaire was given to 823 parents of honor students excelling in
extracurricular activities. (These students were selected by
administration based on academic and extracurricular performance.) We
received 533 responses (a whopping 65 percent rate of return), and
conducted a focus-group-discussion with 27 parents. The first local
study of its kind of this scope, this truly is a community effort -
sponsored by the Parents Union for School and Home, and endorsed by
President Fr. Ben Nebres, SJ; Basic Education director Fr. Bert Ampil,
SJ; and principal Carmela Oracion. Following are the top 10 strategies
to help our children do well in school:
1.
Home learning environment
In
our tutor-obsessed culture, the most surprising finding may be that the
majority of honor students (more than 80 percent) have never had
professional tutors after school. (Another 10 percent say they rarely
have tutors.) But then again, this may not be so surprising, as
internationally, many student achievers seldom rely on professional
tutors.
How do these students achieve? Many parents tutor their
children until Graces IV or V, by which time these students have already
developed good study habits and can study well on their own. In the
upper grades, parents act more as guides, and are consulted mainly on
complicated topics. Interestingly, many parents in the survey say that
at the very least, they still make sure their high school son completes
his homework. Most parents also say they spend the most time with their
child (not the yaya, house help or lola), which includes at least an
hour a day.
What this means: The first 10 years of our child's
life are essential not just for building relationships but for
developing good study habits as well. Investing time and effort
especially in the early years provide a steady foundation for lifelong
learning and many prevent future problems.
2.
Students have a quiet place and a set time to study everyday.
This
may be plain to common sense, and it is. However, when the Third
International Math and Science Study (TIMSS) compared the typical
American and the typical Japanese eighth grade students, researchers
found why a set time and place for daily study is important. The former
studies wherever and whenever he feels like it, while the latter has his
own space (tiny though it may often be) and time for learning. No
wonder Japan ranked in the top five and the US barely made it to top 20
in the 1999 TIMSS ranking. (The Philippines was 36th out of 38
countries.)
As for the Philippines, not all teenagers have a set
time to study - often, they study after dinner, sometimes in between TV
shows or perhaps only hours before exams (when they pull in ineffective
all-nighters). Some students swear they study better with stereo
blaring, the TV on, the cellphone turned to maximum volume - all at the
same time- but chances are these students are not doing the best they
can in school. Abstract subjects such as math require reflection (and
constant practice.) With the ear-splitting sounds of MTV, how can our
children hear themselves think? Moreover, many parents in the survey
also say that their child had a set time to go to bed and to wake up.
What
this means: Make sure each child has a set time and his own private
space to study. Ensure that each child has his own desk. Turn off all
possible distractions, invest in good lighting and make sure that
children develop a solid routine for daily study.
3.
Parents frequently discuss with their children what happens in school.
These
talks range from daily news to significant events (such as a
particularly vexing teacher or an inspiring play). Third and fourth-year
parents spearheaded discussions on possible career choices, while most
parents provide counsel on balancing academics and activities, or
dealing with teachers and lessons.
What this means: Ensure that
communication lines are open and free. Our child has to be able to
confide in us about mundane and important things. Inevitably, peer
pressure becomes significant in teenager life (whether for good or ill),
but one way to prevent negative influences is to be constantly present
so that our child does not have to turn solely to peers for affirmation.
4.
Aside from the Internet and textbooks, a variety of reference materials are available in the home.
These
materials include encyclopedias, yearbooks, manuals, CD-ROMs. The
school library may be well-equipped, but if possible, we must equip our
home with educational materials - and make sure our children learn to
consult them. Love of reading is extremely important - more than 80
percent of parents say they encourage their child to read for leisure.
When their children were young, many parents also frequently read to
them. (This also prevents feature problems in college - college English
professors trace student's lack of language skills to avoidance of
reading "big books.")
Interestingly, TV may not be as horrible an
influence as is usually thought. Many achieving students still watch TV
and surf the Net (but rarely for more than a couple of hours, and many
limit TV watching to weekends). Shows such as those on Discovery Channel
and National Geographic are popular.
What this means: Invest in
educational references and resources. These may be pricey, so wait for
book sales and book fairs, or patronize second-hand shops. Inculcate a
love of reading in your children. For parents with pre-school kids, for
those who haven't done so yet - start reading to (and with) them. Make
reading a bedtime ritual.
5. Again, in our culture, after school enrichment activities such as Kumon and speed reading are very popular.
It
may be a shock for parents to learn that most of the student achievers
have never attended any of these sessions. Keep in mind that these are
commercial ventures, often run not by educators but by ordinary
franchisees. These sessions are not bad, of course. But consulting their
own teachers, reflecting on homework and constantly doing all the
exercises in their textbooks may be more effective ways of learning for
kids.
In other countries, outside-school enrichment sessions may
be more regulated (for instance, education units are required), and
thus, they may prove more effective. But here in the Philippines their
quality varies. With luck, we may be able to find a dedicated
educator-franchisee who can personally oversee our children's learning,
but from experience, I don't think there are many of these. (If these
franchisees undergo training in academic content and student motivation,
and perhaps go for a master's degree in education, then they may be
more effective. But this is not yet the case today.) The bottomline is:
educational fads come and go, but solid grounding in the basics (without
fancy formulas or strategies) is still the main factor in academic
achievement.
What this means: The good news is we don't have to
spend money on outside-school sessions. But the challenging news is we
have to invest time and effort in developing good study habits in our
children. There are no quick fixes in education.
{mospagebreak}
6.
Success is due to maximizing potential, rather than luck or fate.
Is
student achievement a result of pure luck or good genes? Neither. No
study has shown, for instance that the Chinese excel in math because of
genetics (they may do so because of other factors such as language
similarities, dual math studies, Confucian style of education, etc.).
Some parents also say (with a sigh of relief) that thank goodness, their
high-school children are doing well in school. (He took after his
dad.") Heredity aside, what they do not realize is that their children
will not have done well without good study habits or solid learning
background - which can be attributed to parents' prioritizing of their
children's learning. Moreover, when their children complain that a
subject is too hard, parents do not say "that's really hard," or "That's
okay. I'm also poor in Math." Instead they urge them to do their best.
What
this means: Inculcate in your child the belief that he makes his own
success (but be there to guide them necessary). Effort is more important
than whatever innate ability he may possess. Encourage him to do his
best. A mediocre performance is certainly not his best! Inspire him with
real-life accounts of people who have done well because of perseverance
and hard work.
7.
Parents remain supportive of their child even when he gets low grades.
True,
achievers seldom get very low marks, but when they do, families are
still loving and supportive. No one is perfect, and a low grade or two
is a fact of life. (Frequent low grades are another matter, of course.)
Unconditional acceptance is the rule - however, acceptance is not
enough. When their child gets low grades, parents do their best to help
(by tutoring him themselves, researching reference materials, consulting
the teacher or rethinking the balance of academics and extra-curricular
activities.)
Parents also do not compare their child with others,
and they do not put undue pressure on him. However, when their child
does well, a majority of parents (more than 80 percent) say they
frequently inform friends and family about their child's successes! When
based on fact and done with love and joy, this measure of family pride
also bolsters the child's and the family's self-esteem.
What this
means: We support our child even when (and especially when) he gets low
grades and help him do better next time. Do not compare children with
other siblings or peers, but when they do well, it doesn't hurt to relay
the news to friends and family!
8.
Setting, negotiating and enforcing rules is an act of love and is the job of good parents.
Many
parents confess that they had a "traditional" childhood, where their
own parents were authoritarian, where spanking was the rule rather than
the exception and where they were "seen not heard." In reaction to
these, many parents have vowed to be "friends rather than parents" with
their children, pals rather than authority figures. However, such
practices have backfired, with children losing respect for their
parents, breaking school and community rules, and in fact, often losing
direction in life.
Parents are meant to be parents, not peers.
Discipline (which is inevitable) is the job of good parents. But the
method of discipline varies with age, and even with the personality of
the child. Time-outs may work best for young children, while withdrawal
of privileges may be effective for teenagers. In the survey, for a
majority of parents and children cutting TV or computer time is a
popular strategy. They do not give in to their teenagers when he
complains or make a fuss. They demand accountability.
Most parents in
the survey also say they have high expectations for their children in
school and what's more - their children are aware of such expectations.
Parents also impart the value of discipline and hard work through
modeling it themselves, and through questioning and conversation. When
children see parents living life in a "good" upright moral way, they
have the best role model to follow. When our children are old enough,
having a family discussion on what is right and wrong (even the gray
areas) in politics, for instance, or in school (bullying, cheating) is
essential. Parents also make their children face up to the consequences
of their negative behavior (instead of making “salo” for them and
interceding on their behalf all the time).
What this means:
Children need discipline when they (inevitably) break non-negotiable
rules agreed upon beforehand by the family. Ensure that the method of
discipline is meted out with love and care and with the child's best
interest in mind. Ensure that children learn responsibility for
themselves, and remember that we are our children's best role models.
9.
Together with their child, parents help him develop his personal goals.
Family
discussions should not be just about the latest movies or fashion
craze. When the child is old enough, discussion and guidance about
personal goals (e.g. he wants to be on the basketball team but at the
same time he also wants to do well academically) should be constantly
done. If possible, career choices should also not be left at the last
minute (but take heart: in college, when interests shifts, students can
always switch career paths). In the survey, most parents also recognize
and encourage their son's talents (e.g. playing the guitar, acting in
plays). Music, art, and sports lessons are some activities wise parents
invest in. Parents also support and attend their son's extracurricular
activities in school.
What this means: Goal-setting is integral
for growth and life path, and our children need our constant guidance.
We also recognize and invest in our son's interests (outside of
academics), since they are another source of self-worth.
10.
Time, affection, and communication are essential to success and family well-being.
In
today's harried world, with varied individual schedules, it is
heartening to note that more than 85 percent of families in the study
still have dinner together always or most of the time. Affection is
openly demonstrated (and most parents say their teenagers do not mind
giving them a hug or a peck on the cheek).
Parents encourage
exchanging opinions with their children - even if they believe they are
right and even if their children's ideas conflict with theirs. They
involve their children in family discussions, but interestingly, in line
with their roles as parents, they believe that more often than not,
they know what is best for their children. Many parents have invested
time and effort to raise their families right, and half of them say they
make themselves available to their children even if it means forgetting
their own needs. (However, neglecting personal needs is not
recommended, since love and care for others starts with love and care
for the self.)
What this means: Investing time, demonstrating
affection and ensuring open and honest communication with our children
are invaluable. Little things count. Have dinner together as a family.
Hug one another. Encourage a free but respectful exchange of differing
ideas. Above all, we should be there for our children.
Published in the Philippine Daily Inquirer last March 14, 2004
Published with permission of the author.